|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 26, 2017 16:16:24 GMT -4
"So, let me get this straight," O-Lord begins, "You want to be a female animal human thing? When you're male? Holy me, transgender and a furry. Ah well, at least you're not a human. Let's roll with it!"
Your body begins to glow blue, and in a flash, you share the body of the kobold character you made.
"Don't worry, your real body will be returned to you when you complete the game. Good luck! Oh, and a little something for you..."
Around your neck an amulet appears. It's an "O" made out of feathers, with the word Lord in the middle of it. Evidently, O-Lord thought it was clever way to make his name his symbol.
"You can use that amulet to talk to me whenever... I want to talk to you! The great O-Lord is far too busy doing nothing to listen to your constant nagging. Now, onto your adventure, you transgender furry freak!"
You wake up feeling cold air gushing through your fur. A look around reveals you to be in a mountainous area. Right next to you is your bow, and in front of you, nothing more than a 15 minute walk away, is a village with what looks like a mine to it's north and a quarry to it's south. Far on the other side of the quarry is another village, this one a half hour even farther than the other. There is a bit of forest surrounding the landscape and the quarry. However, you don't see any enemy mobs yet.
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 26, 2017 16:55:36 GMT -4
Personable fellow, isn't he?
Alright, now that I've gathered my surroundings and my gear, I'm just going to make the obvious decision. I'm going to start taking steps towards the village.
Hopefully I can talk to the people there and get the whole situation figured out about where I am and what normally happens around here. And, perhaps, a quick stage performance or two wouldn't hurt.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 26, 2017 17:10:15 GMT -4
The village, in a word, is pathetic. You've counted eight families, and six buildings, that is six including the blacksmith's shop and the church which both don't have beds. Not to mention of the four houses, they have one bed each.
Actually, interestingly enough, of these eight families, you see only four men. One of them was the blacksmith, who was busy forging a sword, and the other three were a knight and two townsfolk who were in the middle of a very heated debate.
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 26, 2017 19:10:09 GMT -4
Man, I'm glad I picked the beta so I can just ignore the argument for now. I'm going to head over and greet the blacksmith and see if I can get a little more information about the area.
I'll just stroll over and get his attention real quick.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 26, 2017 22:17:48 GMT -4
The blacksmith was constantly mumbling about unreasonable arseholes and the like while he hammered the sword's blade. He was covered in soot, and quite clearly hasn't had a solid night's sleep in a few days.
He looks at you annoyed, "Shoo do-! Oh. My apologies. I uh... thought you were Kevsen's hound or the like. Um... What the heck are you?"
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 26, 2017 23:52:08 GMT -4
That's a strange greeting, but if he's regarding me with curiosity, there aren't any complaints from me. He's probably one of those unusually tall dwarves or the like.
"I'm... a traveling magician. Have you never seen a circus or troupe before?" I take my regal top hat and flourish it around before continuing with "Perhaps you'd be interested in a demonstration?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 27, 2017 0:16:56 GMT -4
(Awkward filtering is awkward)
"Circus? Never heard of it. I think there's a few thespian troupes in the city, but I'll be darned if I care. Right now I'm too busy fixing this darn sword. I don't give a care in the world about these rioteers and who owns the dang quarry, but lo and behold! I inherited this darn forge and now I'm stuck with crap like this."
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 27, 2017 0:40:43 GMT -4
"Are you fixing the sword for anyone in particular?" I tilt my head towards the arguing group. "The knight, I'm guessing?"
Damn it I have quite a few questions I want to ask now, but I can just ask the knight when I get to him. I'm continuing with "Looks like they're having quite the argument going on. What could they possibly be talking about, good blacksmith?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 27, 2017 0:54:09 GMT -4
"Nah, not the knight, but he's related as to why I'm doing this. You see, long time ago, before even my grandparents were born, we only had the quarry. I mean, sure, we had the mine, but we had closed that one down because it wasn't as profitable. Well, the owner of the quarry had twin sons but when he died gave it to his favorite son. The other kid, who was quite popular among the town, was not happy about this choice, but had nothing he could do about it. So, he founded that town over there," the blacksmith says, pointing to the other town. "There they started a lumber business, and to compete we reopened the mine. Well, the lumber thing didn't hold out as well as they thought it would after a decade or two so we took pity on them and gave them jobs in the quarry. However, bout a month ago the miners found gold, literal gold. Lot of it, too. Well that village was hoping this meant they could finally get the quarry they've been working in cause the mine was better but what kind of an idiot would that? So, when they didn't get the quarry, they came in there rushing around with swords and all and scaring our guys out of there. So we naturally ran in with sword of our own and now the quarry's got two camps in it staring each other to death. The knight's here cause the baron wasn't all that happy bout us being behind our stone shipments cause we can't work in those conditions, and the knight decided the best idea was to pull the heads of both villages and have a peaceful discussion, as you can see. Heckuva job's being done there, I'd say. The power of peaceful talking."
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 27, 2017 1:16:18 GMT -4
Interesting, very interesting. I might have to head over and see how the situation's going.
"Alright, I appreciate all the information you've given me. I'm going to go over and see if there's anything I can do."
If there are no further words of importance to be shared, I'll go ahead and leave the blacksmith to his important work while I take some strides over to the group.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 27, 2017 1:35:10 GMT -4
"It is our quarry! You hear that!? Our quarry!"
"You do not the right to it," the knight snaps back at the head of the other village. "The quarry is a privately owned business separate from the kingdom in all other matters beyond taxes and trade rights. There is no law that dictates it's ownership in this scenario."
"There are moral laws! We deserve it!" the village head snaps back.
"Moral laws? What kind of justification is that," the opposing head replies.
"This is getting us nowhere," the knight grumbles before noticing you and shouting. "What the heck is that!?"
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 27, 2017 2:17:19 GMT -4
"I'm a magician," I say as I finish walking over to the trio. "A master performer onstage. A professional trickster. You've probably never seen this kind of costume before, I assume."
"But enough about me. I've been listening in on the debate, and as hard as it sounds, I'm sure you guys can come to a compromise of some sort."
It looked like it would be far from easy, as a matter of fact, but maybe these guy, or the knight, at the very least, would already have some options they could lay out for me. Perhaps I just needed to know more about the conflict before attempting to form a solution. But this seems like a good start for now.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 27, 2017 2:31:09 GMT -4
"Compromise? I'll tell you your darn compromise!" the head of the other village sourly replies. "He gives us what is ours and that is it."
"I don't think you understand the meaning of a compromise," the knight sighs.
"Alright fine! How bout we make it to an ultimatum!" He yells, and then looks at the village head of the village you were in. "Afternoon, meet me in the quarry. We'll settle this in there!"
"That isn't legal!" the knight asserts.
"Brawling ain't legal, but this isn't a brawl. It's a duel. I'm sure I could tell you what lawbook that is in," the other village's head replies.
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 27, 2017 2:43:06 GMT -4
Some village heads these guys are, huh? Outstanding citizens for the rest of the town to look up to.
I shrug in response to all this. "I guess they're going to have to duel each other, then. Neither of them seem to want to take no for an answer." I don't have a solution right now, so I'm going along with it. That's me.
I turn to the knight and go "Do you think there's any simpler solution to this? Right now, it looks like these two are way too stubborn to make a problem like this end peacefully."
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 27, 2017 2:58:25 GMT -4
"I think that the simpler solution is for everyone to follow the law and stop this madness. However, no matter how often I mention I can get those folks in the other village arrested for this madness, they don't seem to listen. Not to mention it'll take around two days to head back to Rembes to get more guards rounded up for the arrests, and another two days to return. I don't know if I want to make a four trip to and back when I could resolve it. Unfortunately, quite clearly this attempt has failed."
"You've failed like your law, tincan. Now, watch how real man handle this!" the other village head says.
"I've never agreed to this," the local village head replies.
"Too bad!" his opponent says before kicking him in the shin. There's a loud crack sound as the local head scream and his leg bend in an unpleasant looking manner.
"Oh my!" the knight says, running over to check on the local's now clearly broken leg.
"Send someone else, I'll bring them to their knees like how I sent you!" the other village head says as he runs off.
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 27, 2017 3:05:56 GMT -4
"Well, at least we've managed to figure out which one was the real dickhead," I remark as I rush over to join the knight.
"I suppose I'll have to see if I can do something about that guy later, but for now you're probably going to have to just rest that leg somewhere for a while. I mean, I'd love to help, but I can't say I'm nearly as talented at healing as I am at magic tricks."
I could try pulling a spell out of my hat and just shoot the bad one at the sky, but there certainly wasn't a guarantee of success on this one. Depends on how eager the injured village head is to let me try.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 27, 2017 4:03:42 GMT -4
"Let's not," the knight replies. "If you did something to that man, the other village would go out of control in an instant. We'd have a worse situation on our hands."
"I- I've got no choice then. Looks like we gotta have a fight, but I'll need someone else to do my part," the local village head grumbles throughout the tears and screams. "Only problem is that we're all miners. We're not all that good at a fight. I mean, I am a former soldier, but god, was that man wearing steel-toed boots or something? I don't think I'll be on this leg for weeks."
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 27, 2017 10:51:59 GMT -4
(Hmm, I'm at work today, my favorite twitch channel will be live, and there'll be an ISRP waiting for a reply. Hmm...)
"He didn't seem like a pleasant fellow in any way," I said, looking in the direction the village shithead went. "If this is the way he decides to end the argument, he's definitely going to be preparing for a battle himself."
I look back at the knight. "Seems like there's not going to be any more opportunities for diplomacy," I say. "If I were our running friend, I would say be planning something right now, with the village head out of commission. And I doubt you'll have much time to try any option other than fight, at least for now."
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 27, 2017 15:18:24 GMT -4
"Well, at this point it's gotten out of control," the knight says. "Now just rests the matter of who will do the fighting."
"Can't you?" the head asks.
"No. I can't involve myself in such violent acts unless the baron wills it. God already knows I'm about to be put into an awkward spot when I filled out the report for this."
"Isn't there anything we can do?"
The knight ponders for a bit before saying, "The official law of dueling states that each side can have up to two members, and the numbers of one sides don't need to match the others. I'm sure that head isn't smart enough to realize he can bring in two, but that just makes it better for you, doesn't it?"
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 27, 2017 23:45:32 GMT -4
"Does the official law of dueling say anything about jumping the gun and breaking someone's shin before both sides have even agreed to the fight?" I query. "I think you should just arrest him and be done with it."
Pondering a little more, I continue with "If there must be a duel, I suppose I can provide a little help in taking care of head two, and depending on how you want the team to be arranged, I definitely think I can take this guy on in a fight." For a moment, I'm looking at my hat, then I look back up and go, "Even if none of you are able to help out."
I say this as if I'm definitely going to be one of the people in the duel, because I don't mind kicking that guy's ass. Breaking someone's leg, man? I'm surprised the knight didn't immediately go for a tackle.
I assume I'm going to be in the duel, whether or not the others agree to this. I'm hoping it'll be me and the knight (or some other random dude), but if I have to go it alone I guess it'll be me and RNG instead.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 28, 2017 0:09:40 GMT -4
"I can't arrest him, not with my current equipment and this situation. We'd be provoking violence out of the other village," the guard says, a slight tone of frustration in his voice.
"However, I'll gladly accept your offer," the village head says.
"Then how about mine?" the blacksmith says, entering the conversation with a big old war hammer in hand. "My wife heard the whole thing and told me as soon as that fool broke your leg. I know I ain't no warrior like you, but I collected this weapon a while back. Should be enough."
"If you're sure," the village head replies.
"I'm positive. I'll enjoy beating that fool's face in."
"How about you?" the knight asks you. "Understand, there is no law that protects your life in a duel. You could die. I mean, I'm not sure what plan you have in mind but it's not a decision you should take lightly, especially for a town you just walked into."
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 28, 2017 1:21:24 GMT -4
"You heard me earlier, right? I definitely signed myself up for the duel the moment you mentioned it. I expected that this duel would be to the death. I mean, that's what they tend to be everywhere." I'm also a bit of an escape artist when I need to be.
Considering the possibilities of the duel, I add "Looking at that fellow, I think we should go in expecting him to do his worst. If he's willing to stoop low enough to kick another village head in the shins, perhaps he's willing to attempt some underhanded tricks during the fight." Like manipulating the battlefield, or straight up bringing more people... I guess I should be a little more optimistic, though. It is a duel, after all.
"Anyway, I'm ready whenever you are, blacksmith... perhaps I should get your name first before we get started. The name's Zynna."
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 28, 2017 1:38:18 GMT -4
"Harsvold. Nice to meet you," the blacksmith replies.
"Very well then. Zynna, Harsvold, the duel begins at the afternoon. Are there any preparations you need to make?" the knight asks.
"I'd like to get a few armor pieces together, but that's about it on my end," Harsvold answers.
|
|
|
|
Post by official clown business on May 28, 2017 1:46:22 GMT -4
I check all the gear I have with me and go "Yeah, I think I'm fine on preparations. I'll be all ready to go in the afternoon. I'll go ahead and help Harsvold get everything together if he needs the help."
|
|
|
|
Post by Tikobe on May 28, 2017 2:01:11 GMT -4
"Very well then, good luck. See you down in the quarry," the knight says.
You help Harsvold get on a shirt of chainmail and strap one a few pieces of plate armor. There isn't much concern about it's weight, it wasn't much beyond a few scrap pieces adventurers have sold to him and Harsvold was a man strong enough to handle that much. He gives his wife a quick kiss before you two head out into the quarry.
You and Harsvold arrive to find the knight and the village head he was supporting looking into the quarry's center. Down there was the head of the other village, as well as some strange man. He was clothed in robes, a hood and a piece of cloth hiding his mouth. Quite clearly he wasn't all too keen on having his identity found out. He had two sword sheaths, but the swords in them were odd. From the shape of the sheaths, you could assume they were cutlasses like how a pirate would use, but their guard was a golden circle with some symbol that you were too far away to see, and they had no hilts, or any other ways to hold them. Peculiarly enough, he handled himself like he had this whole situation under control, as did the enemy village head who had no weapon at all.
"What's this?" Harsvold asks as he approaches the knight. "Did he bring in a mercenary of some sort."
"Don't know," the knight utters, "but clearly something's up. I was just thinking how peculiar their actions were to come over and talk only to fight and challenge us to a duel. Be careful, I'm starting to think this was a trap from the start."
|
|
