I know it's too late, but nobody else submitted. Might as well. This was fun to write.
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FML Prompt
"Yeah, so, that was the last time I drank one of his cocktails." I finished my story, gulping down another drink of the brown liquid. My comrades all laughed hysterically.
"You're crazy, man." John noted. I shrugged, and took another sip from the glass in my hand.
"Hey, don't you think you've had a little too much for tonight, man?" Andrew asked me, reaching for my bottle.
I moved it away from him, replying, "Nah, I'm like, immune to alcohol. I'm pretty sure."
"That's like, the seventh bottle. You've drank more than any of us, man. We had to send Matt to get more because of you." someone else complhined.
"Yeh, whatever." I waved him off, propping my feet up on the table. "I'm fine."
"Whatever you say," he sighed in a cautious tone.
"Dude." I heard the door open, and Matt walked in with the beers. "Just get the hell out of your house. You're drunk." he demanded with a stern look on his face.
"Yeah, you're too drunk. You have to leave." Burnie added, handing me a bag of popcorn.
"Oh yeah? Make me. Yo," I turned to the table. "Get the camera." I turned back to my opponent. "Fight me, IRL." I says, raising my fists.
He makes the first move, swinging for me in a wide arc. I grab him by the waist with ease, slamming him against the door way. He quickly bounces back from the blow, but I kick him back outside.
"Go to hell!" he yells, pulling out a shattered bottle. He lunges at me with the broken glass, but I grab his wrist and divert the attack, directing a knee into his crotch.
A searing pain runs through my knee, and I fall to the ground, kneeling. By now, the crowd is roaring, and yelling my name. The light reflects off of the sweat dripping down my face. I can do this!
I charge at him, catching him by surprise. I kick hard at his knee, and now his leg is facing the wrong way. He almost collapses, but throws on last flaming punch, and I black out.
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"C'-hic-c'mon, fight me IRL." I spoke in a slurred tone, towards the slightly ajar door. Matt stood behind it, with the beer. I threw punches and kicks at the door wildly.
"What the hell?!" Matt asked.
I hit my knee against the door - hard, and fell to the ground. Even the next morning, I could feel the pain against the massive hangover.
Suddenly, I dashed towards the door, headfirst. I hit my head against the thick, white wood and fell over, unconscious.
Throughout the whole video, my friends were laughing riotously and uncontrollably at my misfortune. I was blind drunk and picked a fight with a door. I was blind drunk and lost a fight with a door.
I am not, in fact, immune to alcohol.
Fuck my life.
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495 words. Link:
www.fmylife.com/health/21447461
