happysupercooldude???
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Post by happysupercooldude??? on Nov 4, 2020 3:36:07 GMT -4
Hi there. I've never been sure of my standing in this community, but as a result of some serious and pretty earth-shattering turmoil in my life, I'm really starting to think about myself and other people and how those two things overlap and intertwine. I've thought about what I don't like to see in other people, and how that correlates with what I dislike about myself (it doesn't for some reason). I've considered the worst possible notions in my mind, and unfortunately for me, been exposed as someone who does that, and now I have to really face how I'm feeling in a way that is very much outside of my comfort zone.
In summation, I'm just really thinking about a lot of personal things and a lot of social things. And as I'm not sure about my standing in this community, I've been thinking about that too. Yes, it's functionally not anywhere near as much a part of my life as it was back in the days of yore, but it changed me as a person (mainly for the better) and led me to interesting places (mostly good ones). And so this place is very deserving of an apology on my part for just kind of being not the best person.
I can think of specific people I've wronged, but it's likely a good idea to first give out a general statement. Both to people I've interacted with plenty, and to those who I never really met on the forum or in this board, I stand by the belief that we were part of something, which is debatably better than being part of nothing. Being part of a movement or a group or any form of social gathering, especially an extended one, is what really changes and morphs people, but I don't want to sound like I'm blaming the RPF for my negative traits. The RPF gifted me with a passion in writing and a general love of being around people, which I still appreciate to this day. It really bothers me that I never gave back to the community as much as it gave to me, and that it had to end so suddenly and that I had to drag along my want for it to come back. I was naive and I can finally agree with that.
Purring, I find it necessary to single you out among a few others here because you provided me such a great friendship that I haven't been able to compare to anything in my real life, and over time, my negative traits destroyed that friendship. For that, I really do apologize. You're a good person and every now and then, I find myself walking around Distance or looking at old stories we co-wrote and I kick myself over how much I took for granted what we had.
Tim, I also would like to single you out simply because, of the admittedly incomplete impression I've got from you, you seem to also be going through turmoil now and then. I want you to know that you're also a cool person in my mind. One with your own flaws, like any other. Thank you for being a figurehead of the RPF and for giving me plenty of good laughs, especially on the RPF rules post where you argued with that person about your username.
That's all I could think of for now. I'll probably append more detail and more singling out to this thread, provided I have the time and energy to.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 4, 2020 19:53:56 GMT -4
Damn, I didn't think I'd be the first one to walk into a post like this the one time I check the forum in months.
Hi, happy. It's Purring. No, I do not hold a grudge against you. I'm glad to see that you've grown and changed since I've last seen you. It means a lot to me that you've learned this on your own. I don't ever see us being friends again after all that's happened, but I need you to know that I don't hold this against you. You should make the most of what you have now, and try not to beat yourself up for what's in the past.
Thank you for writing this.
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Post by Bannanachair on Nov 4, 2020 21:34:14 GMT -4
Hey Happy, I hope you're dealing well with whatever earth-shattering turmoil it is - if you'd like to talk (or, uh, type?) about it, feel free to reach out to me. I actually watched a YouTube video earlier today that made me think of you, though you might already be familiar with the channel given that it's a worldbuilding channel. As for what you were apologizing for, I wasn't one of the ones you wronged as far as I can recall so I can't comment too much, but I think literally everyone on this forum was dysfunctional for one reason or another and did something shitty to someone on the forums at some point (in my case, I've also done shitty things to people in real life). The only thing that can be done is to learn from your mistakes and try to be better. |
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happysupercooldude???
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Post by happysupercooldude??? on Nov 7, 2020 3:46:50 GMT -4
Purring - The problem is that regardless of what issues I face, I'll always beat myself up, because there's no for-sure way to tell if it's my fault or someone else's or a combination of the two, and in my experience, it always harms the least people to beat myself up instead of others.
Tim - I love Artifexian! His videos introduced me to the super disciplined art of making a realistic planet with a realistic climate and geographic layout, as well as conlangs. On another note, it's probably worth mentioning that, as a group of dysfunctional people, we helped each other grow at least a little bit in the long run. I wouldn't be here apologizing if it never happened (as in I have the ability to apologize mainly because of my experiences there), and who knows what other passions I wouldn't have and what other qualities I wouldn't have aquired if it wasn't for our community.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2020 0:30:53 GMT -4
Purring - The problem is that regardless of what issues I face, I'll always beat myself up, because there's no for-sure way to tell if it's my fault or someone else's or a combination of the two, and in my experience, it always harms the least people to beat myself up instead of others. Ok 1. It's almost always a combination, the hard part is finding out what the balance between them is And 2. Have you considered just ... Not beating anyone up Like literally that is an option you can do, you can just not beat people up. That is a thing. You're a person too, you owe it to yourself to not be mean, just as you'd owe it to anyone else. Obviously it's not as easy as it sounds, especially when you make it a habit to hurt yourself, but that does not mean it is unbreakable. It takes time to learn, and a concentrated effort to do better. And much, much patience. But you can do it. You're human. |
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happysupercooldude???
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Post by happysupercooldude??? on Nov 8, 2020 21:09:44 GMT -4
Purring - The problem is that regardless of what issues I face, I'll always beat myself up, because there's no for-sure way to tell if it's my fault or someone else's or a combination of the two, and in my experience, it always harms the least people to beat myself up instead of others. Ok 1. It's almost always a combination, the hard part is finding out what the balance between them is And 2. Have you considered just ... Not beating anyone up Like literally that is an option you can do, you can just not beat people up. That is a thing. You're a person too, you owe it to yourself to not be mean, just as you'd owe it to anyone else. Obviously it's not as easy as it sounds, especially when you make it a habit to hurt yourself, but that does not mean it is unbreakable. It takes time to learn, and a concentrated effort to do better. And much, much patience. But you can do it. You're human. Yep, you're probably right. Especially about it not being something I can just 'do'. The thing is, the past tells me that it's very easy for me to go over the edge with letting my own mistakes slide. Imagine it like a scale with three segments - you're either beating yourself up, super overconfident in your own abilities and distrustful in other people's, or in the sweet spot where you're not beating anyone up. It's super hard for me to maintain the sweet spot. |
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Post by God Bebi Satan on Nov 8, 2020 23:55:56 GMT -4
"Holy to the LORD" I call as the walls drop.
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Post by God Bebi Satan on Nov 8, 2020 23:57:13 GMT -4
Also make an account I've been waiting literally half a decade for it.
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Post by BOY SMINEM LEGO on Nov 9, 2020 0:29:58 GMT -4
I'll fully admit that I'm very hesitant to trust you happy, but if you truly are more self-aware and understand your past actions, then godspeed to you.
Now your next step is obtaining proper help for your behavior. Otherwise now you'll slip into other types of bad behavior which will bring out old habits that you're working to move on from.
In short, get a therapist fucker.
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Post by Bannanachair on Nov 9, 2020 22:41:40 GMT -4
In short, get a therapist fucker. Due to the lack of a comma, I'm going to assume that you mean a device that fucks therapists. |
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Post by FUNKY DISCO LEGO on Nov 11, 2020 15:37:20 GMT -4
In short, get a therapist fucker. Due to the lack of a comma, I'm going to assume that you mean a device that fucks therapists. Potentially. |
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happysupercooldude???
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Post by happysupercooldude??? on Nov 11, 2020 23:56:32 GMT -4
Due to the lack of a comma, I'm going to assume that you mean a device that fucks therapists. Potentially. I already have one of those. Anyways, there are a heap of reasons I don't want to get a therapist. Also make an account I've been waiting literally half a decade for it. I think I have an account that I made half a year ago, I just can't remember the password. So close, yet so far. |
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Post by Duck14 on Nov 12, 2020 12:32:15 GMT -4
Yeah, haven’t you made a couple of accounts on here?
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happysupercooldude???
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Post by happysupercooldude??? on Nov 14, 2020 21:38:33 GMT -4
Yeah, haven’t you made a couple of accounts on here? There was one that someone else (maybe Tikobe? I'm not sure) made for me, which I lost. There was another one which I made for myself recently, which I lost. |
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Post by God Bebi Satan on Nov 14, 2020 22:33:19 GMT -4
Yeah, haven’t you made a couple of accounts on here? There was one that someone else (maybe Tikobe? I'm not sure) made for me, which I lost. There was another one which I made for myself recently, which I lost. Intellectual moment. |
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happysupercooldude???
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Post by happysupercooldude??? on Nov 15, 2020 19:39:22 GMT -4
There was one that someone else (maybe Tikobe? I'm not sure) made for me, which I lost. There was another one which I made for myself recently, which I lost. Intellectual moment. And how. |
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Post by God Bebi Satan on Nov 16, 2020 4:14:42 GMT -4
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Post by Duck14 on Nov 16, 2020 7:24:26 GMT -4
I can see Snowy Happy was last logged in around 2017. That’s the one I remember. |
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Post by haappy on Nov 18, 2020 1:50:36 GMT -4
Yeah, haven’t you made a couple of accounts on here? There was one that someone else (maybe Tikobe? I'm not sure) made for me, which I lost. There was another one which I made for myself recently, which I lost. See, the issue with not having an account is that it becomes fairly easy to impersonate you, as I'm doing right now. |
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Post by Duck14 on Nov 18, 2020 7:23:26 GMT -4
I impersonated Tim with an account.
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Post by God Bebi Satan on Nov 18, 2020 16:09:06 GMT -4
Happy is more of a concept than anything
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happysupercooldude???
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Post by happysupercooldude??? on Nov 30, 2020 2:00:16 GMT -4
There was one that someone else (maybe Tikobe? I'm not sure) made for me, which I lost. There was another one which I made for myself recently, which I lost. See, the issue with not having an account is that it becomes fairly easy to impersonate you, as I'm doing right now. It's very true, but I check this forum rarely, and I don't see why anyone here would bother doing so. I'm willing to take the risk. |
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