Depression

[Benzo]

How the fuck do you people deal with it? I can't imagine that I'm the only depressed SoB here, but Jesus fucking Christ today has been tearing me up. Probably doesn't help that it's the 10 year anniversary of my mom's death, but ffs I've already held a knife to myself three fucking times today and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being miserable and feeling like a complete piece of shit.
So... How do you folks deal with this shit? Weed and alcohol aren't helping. If anything, it's making it worse.

[Kudo]

Go take a walk or something around your town, just wander around looking at everything around you. Or watch something that you like, maybe a nostalgic show you used to watch when you were a child. Play a video game or maybe even read a book. Most of these sound cliche, I know, but they kindof help temporarily.

After you've calmed down, sit down and focus on your problems, analyse them, find their causes and think of solutions. Don't spend time thinking of those dark thoughts (like whether you'd be able to get rid of your problems or not), when you start doing so, just force-stop your brain and get busy with something else, something that requires your attention. I'm not saying to not think of your problems, just not in a sad and dark pessimistic way. Think of your problems when you're calm so you can concentrate and get a practical solution.

If there's a certain someone around you that's affecting you in a psychologically negative way, warn him/her or try to make him/her aware that (s)he's hurting you. If (s)he doesn't listen then get away from him/her.

If you're religious, pray to God or something, like pray really deep and try to connect with him with your soul.

If you're not religious, then just think like nihilists, nothing matters. It will all just perish one day, the only thing that matters is that you have fun before it happens without hurting yourself or others.

[Bannanachair]

I won't lie: I've been to the stage where I've had knives pointed at myself and stood on the edge of a balcony wondering if I should take one more step. Most of the time it's my parents who drive me to that stage. Alcohol doesn't help when you're already there, but I've found that if I'm not to that level of depresesdness yet alcohol can stop it getting much farther.

Just... Short of suicide, do what you want to do. Do you want to lie down for six hours not doing anything? Great, do that. Do you want to eat one meal every other day because you can't stomach any more food? Do that. It's what I do and it allows for temporary relief, but it's not a permanent solution.

The best argument I can think of against making any attempts is that the ones most guaranteed to kill you will fuck you up the most if you survive them, and tend to be more painful. Throw yourself in front of a car and you can end up in a wheelchair, stab yourself and it will be very painful and you'll have hideous scars, jump and, unless it's a clear fall for a large distance, if you catch your body on outcroppings and things like that as you fall you can end up very badly mangled but alive.

[Deleted]

I attempt to distract myself, and when it's that bad, usually fail eventually.

If you've got games or something to do, either something relatively beaindead so you can work through your thoughts or something that requires focus so you can concentrate on something else, that might help depending on what you're depressed about. It's at least a way to bide the time as long as you can handle it.

[Baise-moi]

Taking a walk or going out somewhere can help. I suppose it's the type of person you are, but I personally feel that these things help, especially if you have someone to do it with. Not a big deal if you don't, though. Just try to find your "area of comfort".
As Kudo said as well, play some nostalgic game, or just one you find fun. Personally, I don't get the same enjoyment out of playing video games for long amounts of time that some people my age do. If you're anything like me, it'll occupy you for an hour or two and likely no more. Just try to get invested and immersed in the game, and time will fly.
Trying to do something creative with your time (writing a story or ideas for plot/characters even) can be a hit or miss. Sometimes you'll find it passes the time and takes your mind off things. Maybe you'll be proud of what you created. At other times it's frustrating. Incredibly, annoyingly frustrating, because you can't seem to get anything right. If it turns out that way, and you can't find a way out of it, just... stop. Move to something else.

Alcohol and drugs REALLY don't help. At most it's very, very temporary with the latter (if you get lucky), and I find that alcohol can actually worsen it.

You've made it through this before, I'm sure, whether you remember it or not. You've pulled through. Just keep that in mind. It might seem like everything is getting worse, but you will have times of happiness in the future that will help you get through this. It sucks, it really does, that you have to deal with it now, and seemingly always, and I'm not saying it's just going to go away/vanish into thin air just like that, but you can overcome it with time.

Yeah, I've run out of things I know from experience. I probably wasn't any help, but hey, sometimes it's enough to know that people give enough of a shit to try to help you out.

[vammy]

Usually I look for one thing to look forward too, “wait if I die today I won’t be able to play vidja”

[Benzo]

I appreciate the advice everyone, I really do. Idk what I'm gonna do yet, though.

Part of me thinks I really need to see a therapist, but God knows I don't want to just end up being drugged up on happy pills. Those fuckers killed my mom long before her heart stopped beating; I'm not going down that path, too.

[Bannanachair]

Mar 24, 2018 20:33:49 GMT -4 Benzo said:

I appreciate the advice everyone, I really do. Idk what I'm gonna do yet, though.

Part of me thinks I really need to see a therapist, but God knows I don't want to just end up being drugged up on happy pills. Those fuckers killed my mom long before her heart stopped beating; I'm not going down that path, too.

Don't see a therapist and don't see a psychologist. Abuse is so incredibly rampant in that industry that I'm surprised it's still considered a decent profession. And I'm not just saying things that I heard from a friend of a friend or some shit like that, I know that therapists and psychologists can cause incredible abuse firsthand. There's a chance that you'll get someone decent to help you out, but I would not risk it.