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Post by Death on Nov 29, 2016 17:44:40 GMT -4
Here's a traditional Irish Recipe:
1. Grow Potato
2. Eat Potato
3. Grow more potato
4. Eat more potato
5. Have disease come along and kill all potato
6. Have Millions Starving
7. Have English not giving a fuck
8. Have a million people emigrate
9. Ensue around two centuries of tension and anger
10. Enjoy
I will note from what I've seen, it's best to take two centuries and a half for this recipe to really work- you really need to grind the hope out of the people before the wars begin.
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Benzo
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Post by Benzo on Dec 4, 2016 21:12:38 GMT -4
Taters?
Ham & Scalloped Potatoes
This is so goddamn easy I feel like a shithead even including it, but what the hell, it's a decent meal if you don't mind waiting all day.
Ingredients;
6 Decent sized potatoes, coined, skinned upon preference
1 can (15 oz) condensed cheese soup
Alternatively, I'm guessing absolutely any kind of cheese, such as shredded would work. The trick would be knowing how much to use.
1 can (15 oz) cream of mushroom soup (Only half was used... Sorry if you hate waste.)
1/2 cup of milk, maybe closer to 3/4 depending upon how much of the mushroom is used.
Ham, cubed. Idk, however much you want.
2 tablespoons of flour (Holy shit I actually used my measuring spoon.)
1) Ham and potatoes go into crock pot.
2) Mix the soup, flour, and milk until smooth. Like brownie batter, I guess.
3) Pour your soup brownie batter over the potatoes and ham, shake gently to settle and set to high. As it cooks, the sauce will become more fluid; Do not worry about it not completely covering your potatoes at first.
4) Cook on High for maybe 5 hours or so? Potatoes are a fickle bitch, and the thicker your coins, the longer they take to cook, obviously.
Manhattan Sandwich;
Ingredients;
Roast Beef sandwich
Mashed Potatoes, instant or homemade. (Boil some potatoes, it's honestly easier than instant made.)
Gravy
Very easy, hardly a recipe and more of a "If you haven't had one of these... Fucking try it."
Basically, you're just gonna take your sandwich and cut it corner-to-corner, separating one corner to create a gap whilst leaving the other corners still touching.
In that gap, put down a scoop of mashed potatoes.
Cover it all with gravy and enjoy. Obviously, you probably want a fork.
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Benzo
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Post by Benzo on Dec 4, 2016 21:17:09 GMT -4
Lmao, no I'm pretty sure they're just regular biscuits. Nothing weird. Hey hey hey since it's the holidays, now's the time for ultimate baking sessions™, giving baked sweets and such instead of actual gifts since you're poor. I've got a pretty tasty cupcake & icing recipe, although it's probably the same as most recipes.  I used to give all my uncles and aunts different jars of hot cocoa mixes, haha. Pretty easy and you can go pretty batshit crazy with them regarding different flavors. Reese's hot chocolate? Idk why I never did it sooner. |
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Benzo
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Post by Benzo on Jan 8, 2017 16:05:15 GMT -4
I missed Christmas, whoops.
Oh well, you folks eat ham for Easter, right? Use this for leftovers after that.
Penne Pasta and Ham Skillet: (I don't have any fancy names for this, haha.)
Ingredients:
1 package (1 lb) penne pasta
olive oil, not much
3 tablespoons butter (only measured because it's butter... So, already labeled)
Cubed fully cooked ham leftovers, however much you have
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 medium onion, diced
Garlic powder
Dried Oregano
1 can (14 oz or so) chicken broth. Alternatively, Cream of Chicken soup makes for a thicker sauce. I prefer thicker.
Wee bit of lemon juice
Parmesan cheese, to preference
Directions:
1) Prepare noodles as according to package. While that is going, warm up your butter and olive oil in your skillet. Add ham, pepper and onion and cook until meat is browned, vegetables tender. Add oregano and garlic powder next, let that soak in for a minute or two.
2) Add in the lemon juice and broth/soup. Bring to a boil (harder to do with cream of chicken, obviously) and cook for about 10 more minutes.
3) After draining noodles, return to pot and pour skillet mixture on top. Add and stir in the parmesan cheese, and serve.
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Post by Bannanachair on Jan 8, 2017 20:19:25 GMT -4
Ingredients:
5 Candles
Chalk
1 Gold Chalice
1 goat carcass
10L (or about 2.5gal for you Americans) of the blood of virgins
Step one: Draw a pentagram inside of a circle using the chalk.
Step two: Place the candles on the outermost points, where the pentagram meets the circle, and light them.
Step three: Drain the goat carcass of it's own blood and fill it up with the blood of the virgin. You should have some left over; put that into the gold chalice.
Step four: Place the goat, now filled with virgin's blood, in the centre of the pentagram.
Step five: Chant the summoning ritual for the demon that you want to summon
Step six: Drink the remaining virgin's blood from the chalice and watch the chaos that you have caused ensue.
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Post by Duck14 on Jan 9, 2017 4:42:01 GMT -4
Ingredients: 5 Candles Chalk 1 Gold Chalice 1 goat carcass 10L (or about 2.5gal for you Americans) of the blood of virgins Step one: Draw a pentagram inside of a circle using the chalk. Step two: Place the candles on the outermost points, where the pentagram meets the circle, and light them. Step three: Drain the goat carcass of it's own blood and fill it up with the blood of the virgin. You should have some left over; put that into the gold chalice. Step four: Place the goat, now filled with virgin's blood, in the centre of the pentagram. Step five: Chant the summoning ritual for the demon that you want to summon Step six: Drink the remaining virgin's blood from the chalice and watch the chaos that you have caused ensue. How do I know if my virgin blood is actual virgin blood? |
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Post by Bannanachair on Jan 9, 2017 4:50:00 GMT -4
Ingredients: 5 Candles Chalk 1 Gold Chalice 1 goat carcass 10L (or about 2.5gal for you Americans) of the blood of virgins Step one: Draw a pentagram inside of a circle using the chalk. Step two: Place the candles on the outermost points, where the pentagram meets the circle, and light them. Step three: Drain the goat carcass of it's own blood and fill it up with the blood of the virgin. You should have some left over; put that into the gold chalice. Step four: Place the goat, now filled with virgin's blood, in the centre of the pentagram. Step five: Chant the summoning ritual for the demon that you want to summon Step six: Drink the remaining virgin's blood from the chalice and watch the chaos that you have caused ensue. How do I know if my virgin blood is actual virgin blood? You don't; it's always a good idea to capture multiple "virgins" because they could be lying and there's no way to tell. |
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Post by Bannanachair on Feb 17, 2017 22:45:53 GMT -4
Here's another recipe that I remember from a vacation that I went on to Brussels, modified slightly for a more American palette.
Ingredients:
Milk
Chocolate
Marshmallows (optional - do not do with candy cane)
Candy Cane (optional - do not do with marshmallows)
Step One: Heat the milk in a pan until it is warm.
Step Two: Pour a glass of warm milk. Do not fill it up to the top.
Step Three: Put the chocolate into the warm milk to taste.
Step Four (Choose one):
4a: Stir with a spoon until chocolate is fully dissolved
4b: Stir with a candy cane until chocolate is fully dissolved
4c: Add marshmallows and stir until chocolate is fully dissolved
Step Five: Enjoy!
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Benzo
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Post by Benzo on Feb 14, 2018 16:25:33 GMT -4
Since I honestly believe it to be my Magna Opus, I would like to add an update to that stir-fry recipe:
Add cinnamon, some anise and sweet anise, and more ginger than you would think, trust me. I was just using a 4-blend container (Of those 4,) so I don't know the exact measurements... Not that I would anyway, but holy hell what a difference. Easily the best thing I've made to date. Kind of sweet on account of the extra ginger, (I read the blend after using it, not before...) but that is not at all a bad thing. I like to cook with leftovers, right?
Nope... Gone that night, haha.
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Post by passion fruit on Feb 17, 2018 3:52:53 GMT -4
how about some
garlic butter
tomahawk rib eye steak
reverse seared
bam
perfect meal for you and yourself.
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Post by Bannanachair on Feb 17, 2018 7:01:04 GMT -4
Since I honestly believe it to be my Magna Opus, I would like to add an update to that stir-fry recipe: Add cinnamon, some anise and sweet anise, and more ginger than you would think, trust me. I was just using a 4-blend container (Of those 4,) so I don't know the exact measurements... Not that I would anyway, but holy hell what a difference. Easily the best thing I've made to date. Kind of sweet on account of the extra ginger, (I read the blend after using it, not before...) but that is not at all a bad thing. I like to cook with leftovers, right? Nope... Gone that night, haha. Dammit Benzo, you posted three days too early for it to be exactly a year before the necrobump. |
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Post by Tikobe on Feb 17, 2018 19:23:24 GMT -4
Since I honestly believe it to be my Magna Opus, I would like to add an update to that stir-fry recipe: Add cinnamon, some anise and sweet anise, and more ginger than you would think, trust me. I was just using a 4-blend container (Of those 4,) so I don't know the exact measurements... Not that I would anyway, but holy hell what a difference. Easily the best thing I've made to date. Kind of sweet on account of the extra ginger, (I read the blend after using it, not before...) but that is not at all a bad thing. I like to cook with leftovers, right? Nope... Gone that night, haha. Dammit Benzo, you posted three days too early for it to be exactly a year before the necrobump. That's what got you upset? |
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Benzo
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Post by Benzo on Feb 18, 2018 11:17:40 GMT -4
Fuck shit up... That's what I do!
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Benzo
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Post by Benzo on Feb 18, 2018 13:27:14 GMT -4
Also, if anyone's ever had orange chicken before, it's literally just orange juice and brown sugar. Weird, right? I never would've guessed it, but it tasted completely accurate so, there ya have it I s'ppose.
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Post by Tikobe on Feb 19, 2018 1:06:23 GMT -4
Also, if anyone's ever had orange chicken before, it's literally just orange juice and brown sugar. Weird, right? I never would've guessed it, but it tasted completely accurate so, there ya have it I s'ppose. Didn't know that? I don't actually blame you. I spend most of my chicken eating days enjoying them with teriyaki. I didn't find out about Orange Chicken till I was a sophomore in high school. |
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Post by Bannanachair on Feb 19, 2018 2:27:33 GMT -4
Most of the chicken that I eat is breadcrumbed with melted cheese. Chicken parmigiana without the sauce, basically. It's really good.
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Benzo
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Post by Benzo on Feb 19, 2018 4:45:41 GMT -4
I made that a couple weeks ago, though without a mallet I couldn't get the chicken very flat, so it didn't fry very well.
And yeah, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised; Asian cooking seems to have weirdly simple tricks to it, like sweet & sour just being pineapple & lemon juice. I probably would have never even attempted the orange were it not a Valentine's Day request.
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Benzo
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Post by Benzo on May 3, 2018 18:13:20 GMT -4
Apparently my lawyer's wife is of Korean descent, and he said my food is better than her's, so... That's a huge compliment, haha. Asian cuisine is definitely my fortē, so be sure to try out any of my Asian recipes!
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Post by Bannanachair on May 3, 2018 22:24:31 GMT -4
Apparently my lawyer's wife is of Korean descent, and he said my food is better than her's, so... That's a huge compliment, haha. Asian cuisine is definitely my fortē, so be sure to try out any of my Asian recipes! Ironically, I can barely stand Asian food, despite living in Asia. There's one or two Korean dishes that I'm fine with (but I forget what it's called; it's basically just beef, though), but that's about the extent of it. Weird how things turn out that way, isn't it? |
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Post by Tikobe on May 4, 2018 21:18:13 GMT -4
Apparently my lawyer's wife is of Korean descent, and he said my food is better than her's, so... That's a huge compliment, haha. Asian cuisine is definitely my fortē, so be sure to try out any of my Asian recipes! Ironically, I can barely stand Asian food, despite living in Asia. There's one or two Korean dishes that I'm fine with (but I forget what it's called; it's basically just beef, though), but that's about the extent of it. Weird how things turn out that way, isn't it? I love Asian food. But then again, that's cause mom got introduced to a fair bit of Asian culture from a roommate who was from Japen she had before I was born (Although said roommate I don't really know. Supposedly she moved back to Japan and was killed in a tsunami so...). Mom later on went onto bringing me bits and pieces of it afterwards (Like rice candy. Looks weird but it's some good shit.) |
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