Calradia at War! (Mount and Blade)

[gwebster2]

TALES OF CALRADIA 

Here's a map of Calradia. (it's broken)



SYNOPSIS

Calradia.

A land torn apart by incessant warfare, in a time where horses are ridden, blades are drawn and scrolls are scrawled on. It's a large nation, full of different climates and peoples. Yet, it feels like a close space, with the towns are crammed up against each other. As people often say, there's no such thing a coincidence in Calradia.

Once, Calradia was united, in what was known as the Calradian Empire. Now people refer to it as the Old Calradian Empire, for it is indeed old. A hundred and fifty years have passed since after the collapse of the Old Calradian Empire, and the Age of Divided Calradias has lasted ever since.

It's a beautiful country, really. What makes it ever the more a prize is the fact that it's the only place fit to live, for to the north-east is the Great Frozen Plain, to the east is the Great Steppes, and to the south is the Great Desert, and everywhere else is the Great Ocean. And in the middle of it all, is the stunning Calradia.

Six Kings claim the right to rule the throne, and are the second rulers of their respective land.

King Harlaus the Tenth, ruler of the Swadians, second grandson to King Harlaus the eigth, a former emperor of the Old Calradian Empire.

King Ragnar of Wercheg, leader to the Nords, the Usurper of Tyrants, and Protector of the Faith.

King Graveth of the Rhodoks, a true king, a true scholar, and a defender against corruption.

Sanjar Khan, sixth of his kind to rule the Khergit Khanate, his horse faster than the wind.

Prince Yaroglek of the Vaegirs, his youth eternal, and his passion the fuel of every hearth.

And Sultan Hakim, and the Sarranid Sultanate, traveller of many lands, teller of many tales.

All rulers believe themselves to be the Emperor that Calradia needs, and all believe the others to be foolish. They are constantly switching between war and peace, making alliance and trade agreements one year, and once again raiding and pillaging each other the next. No one is able to hold on to an offensive, or concrete an alliance long enough to destroy and conquer another completely. Vassals of the Kings serve their country and themselves, and weaker factions face internal strife.

However, a new feeling has overcome Calradia as of late. For in the stars, there are signs of great change. It is as if the Gods themselves promise something different, and many think, and many hope, that a new ruler will emerge and finally put the war to an end, and reforge the Calradian empire.

---

THE FACTIONS OF CALRADIA

The Swadians:

Capital: Praven

King Harlaus the Tenth makes his capital and rest at Praven, the previous capital of the Old Calradian Empire. The colors of the Griffyn, red and black, fly above Swadian cities and above Harlaus's personal army. They are the most like the Old Empire, and are attempting to reunite Calradia and resume it as it was. Even the old royal bloodline has been preserved, King Harlaus is a direct descendant of the Old Calradian Emperors. Swadia still holds on to the largest military of all the factions, retaining funding from time times where now Swadian lands were the heart of the Old Empire. Swadia's land is fertile, so it's farmlands are productive, and it is in the center of all the factions. Therefore, in order to make cross continent trade, one has to travel through Swadia, giving the Kingdom a very productive economy. They also are home to the Knights of Calradia, or the Knights of Swadia. The Swadians field the most hightly trained and heavily armored cavalry out of all the factions, and they are not to be trifled with. Despite all of this, they are in the center of all the factions, and all wars they fight have the potential to be fought on two fronts; their large, well-equipped military is always fighting a defensive war. King Harlaus has yet to come up with an effective strategy to go back on the offensive and begin reuniting the Old Calradian Empire.



The Nords:

Capital: Sargoth

King Ragnar of Wercheg makes his capital at Sargoth. Sargoth is an ancient town, some Nords claiming the first ever city established in Calradia, and that all other peoples are simply branches of an ancient Nordic empire. King Ragnar is known as the Usurper of Tyrants to his people, for they believe him to be the great hero all of Calradia needs; that the Old Calradian Emperors, and therefore, Swadia, are suppressors of the Nordic faith, (which they may have been) and King Ragnar will usurp the power from the tyrants and restore order. In Nordic legends, it is said that from the Northern land of Jumne, several different tribes made land fall. The trees, called Nordic Pine, were sturdy, stubborn, and made the most excellent wood. In order to chop down these trees, the ancient tribes created axes so powerful, they could fell the massive trees with one swing. The tribes battled, using these axes against each other, but the bravest chieftain of all the tribes, Chieftain Sarg, defeated the others and founded Sargoth. Though many people doubt these legends, the oral tradition has been passed down for generations. But some things cannot be denied about the Nords: Their houses are sturdy, their culture runs deep, and their axes always strike true. The Nords claim the most well-trained foot infantry in all of Calradia.



The Rhodoks:

Capital: Jelkala



To the mountain ridden South East is the Rhodok Republic, King Graveth rules over it in a very non-republic fashion. They are a young faction, forming just over two decades ago, but they can rival the power of any other. The Republic part of the name seems to just be decoration, because King Graveth, like any other monarch, rules with complete power. Their rise was one of blood shed. They were originally the western branch of the Swadian kingdom, but wars distracted a young King Harlaus from proper administration, therefore he could not keep his western Vassals in check. Boyar Graveth apparently rallied his noble friends, and declared war on the Swadians, forming the Rhodok Republic. For a few bloody months the outskirts of Veluca became a battleground between the two nations. The people were excited and innovative, and in order to counter the Swadian Knights, they developed the finest pole-arms in all of Calradia. The Swadians could not keep up the pressure with the other factions waiting to pounce, and let off their attack and the Rhodok Republic was formed. As a result of the war, the Rhodoks boast the most powerful pole-arm infantry, and are excellent anti-cavalry troops.



Khergit Khanate:

Capital: Tulga

Long ago, the Khergits were a nomadic people, divided into multiple different sub-factions. They rode their horses across the Steppes, raiding each others' camps and doing battle. They developed into swift and accurate horse archers as a result of the constant warfare. But then, Sanjar Khan the Everlasting, the first Khan, went on a terrible and effective campaign, mobilizing his small tribe and annexing the neighboring tribes. It was over before anyone knew it had begun, and the Khergit Khanate was founded. He constructed cities, warning the people of the neighboring Calradian Empire's threatening stance, that if they did not modernized quickly they would be enslaved. They did so, quickly. Sanjar Khan the Everlasting earned his name, for he lived to be incredibly old, Khanate Lore claiming he reached 200 years of age. Once he passed away, his son took his place, and then the son of his son, and it was an imperfect Kingdom, to be sure; but the Khergits held together for a long time. But then, the Calradian Empire, in the prime of it's power, invaded. It was a long war, but eventually the Khergits were overcome. But when the mysterious event that splintered the rest of the empire occured, the Khergit Khanate immediately reformed, and Sanjar Khan the fifth ruled for a brief time before dying under very convenient circumstances. Thereafter Sanjar Khan the Sixth was made ruler of the Khergit Khanate.



The Vaegirs:

Capital: Curaw

Unlike most of the other factions, two other rulers were King of the Vaegirs before their current one took control. Even in the days of the Old Calradian Empire, the Vaegirs were almost non-participatory in the affairs of the rest of the Empire. They kept to themselves in their snow-covered landscape, only trading for supplies with the other groups. When the empire collapsed, they formed their own faction only to not be absorbed by default, by the Nords or the Khergits or the Swadians. They fought defensive wars, keeping to their castles are firing upon the oncoming hordes, particularly early Nord invasions. Their archers are very skilled, it is said that in order to hunt the quick and small creatures of the north-east, their arrows had to be vast and lethal, and their bows had to be reliable; and they are. The finest archers in all of Vaegir gain access to be apart of the elite Longbows. They use the aptly named Longbow, a weapon that requires incredible strength, and is undoubtedly expensive, but one that can fell a knight in one shot. Now, on to the current ruler of the Vaegirs, Prince Yaroglek. Two short years ago, his overthrew his father in cou, his sub-faction known as the Longbows, and comprised mostly of those elite troops. He quickly gained support, and his father had swiftly lost control of his own Kingdom. Prince Yaroglek's policies state that the Vaegirs should begin taking the offensive, that the other factions will never overtake each other, and that it is up to them to reunite Calradia. He calls the old ways far too cowardly, and that the Vaegirs should be far more confident in their abilities. The people got behind this idea, for they were sick of the constant sieging.



The Sarranid Sultanate:

Capital: Durquba

The Sarranids originate from the sandy southern territory, their kingdom is sprinkled with beautiful oasis' that make the land habitable for human life. According to Sarranid mythology, they were the first people to come to Calradia, and that all other factions are just branches off of the original Sarranids. As you can probably tell, the Nords and the Sarranids don't get along very well. Sultan Hakim and his father both shared a trait of persistent studiousness, they read many books together and have sent ambassadors to several other kingdoms to aquire ever more books and tomes. Sultan Hakim is a new ruler, his reign only ten years old, but he is already aged and wise, for his father took his advice very seriously into consideration, and it was almost like a shared kingdom. Sultan Hakim's son, however, is an apple that has fallen very far from the tree. He cares not for history, rather he insists that they should be attacking their neighbors, pillaging and looting their towns where Hakim would merely annex them into their kingdom. The Prince Hakim is brash and disliked by his people, and the Sarranid populous dread the day where he takes charge of the Sultanate. Hakim's advisers have also placed him under constant watch, for even if Hakim does love and trust his son, his advisers managed to convince him for round the clock watch. The advisors claim it is for "other jealous kingdoms", but the people know it is truly to protect Hakim from the angry prince. The Sarranid army is a surprisingly vast one for their desolate landscape, the Sultans have done an excellent job of almost eliminating deserters and bandits, so the peasants are safe from any unwanted visitors. Their troops are lightly equipped, opting for speed rather than armor, and it also increases their own marching stamina; the sun is harsh and the turbans and cloth-leather armor they wear reduces their chance of heat-stroke. Even if the people are loyal, other factions can see that the angry prince Hakim is plotting for a rebellion, and perhaps even admires the charming Yaroglek to the North.



---

ROLEPLAY PROCEDURES


We will be doing this in way of World Updates. Every roleplayer will create one post, and then I will write the World's reaction to your actions. Sometimes, if all roleplayers in one group have posted, I will do their World Update before everyone else. Furthermore, if some roleplayers are say, relaxing in a tavern, I will notify them that they can post as many times as they want to interact with the other roleplayers in their vicinity. These "Casual Phases" can last as long as you desire, but may be interrupted depending on the circumstances.

If you do not post enough, you can be kicked from the RP. If you want to quit, notify everyone else, would you? Don't just go quiet on us.

Remember, you control only yourself. For example: When attacking, state your attack, and state your desired results from the attack, but only I will be able to decide if your attack was successful. Same thing goes for conversations with NPC's, or trading, or any other action.


Choose your characters backstory wisely, I will consider it when you do actions. Natives of Calradia, farmers, peasants, merchants, will not be able to do battle as effectively as a mercenary. But then again, nobody but other mercenaries like mercenaries. You can make your character a noble, who is born into a faction already. That means you'd be rich, well-versed, and trained in combat, but be prepared to face the interesting challenges a noble may have to over-come.


So, please, in your character sheet, your backstory is VERY important, so make sure it's specific and detailed. People in your backstory may resurface, or some may recognize you for who you are.

When it comes to choosing a capital city to start in, it by no means binds you to that faction in ANY way. But you have to choose to start in Sargoth, Curaw, Jelkala, Tulga, Dhirim, or Durquba. You could be peasant from one of the neighboring villages making a run into buy supplies, or a merchant to sell his goods, or maybe you just happened to stop by there in your travels. If you are a noble-man or a certain faction, however, you must choose to start in the faction's capital that you were born into.

Your physical appearance can be a face-claim or picture, but be sure to use a few sentences of description either way.

Your personality can be brief, I prefer characters to be developed over the course of the RP. But be sure to make it balanced.

Your equipment includes your clothes, weapons, armor, goods, or anything else you might have on you. It has to reflect your backstory, however, no armor or advanced weapons for farmers, and even if you are a mercenary, keep it to light, cheap armor. Just put the word "cheap" in front of the word "chain-mail" and I'll be happy. We have to have room for plenty of upgrades in this world.

---

CHARACTER SHEET:

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Physical Apperance:

Backstory:



Personality:

Equipment:



---

If you have any questions, ask. If you need me to specify something I may have overlooked, tell me! For realsies.

[LeBlunder]

Whoo boy, here I come.

[Duck14]

(Will write up a character soon. I always thought Praven was the capital of Swadia. I'm thinking of becoming a Swadian noble though a Mercenary gaining renown across the land is also quite appealing.)

[Deleted]

Gweb I really want to fucking murder you
Proof-read or get a proof-reader god dammit
All the mistakes I spotted make me want to stab something

Either way, expect a sheet tomorrow *now


Name:
Sharir-Im Al'Dubai 


Age:
31


Gender:
Male


Physical Appearance: Sharir is a gruff, burly looking man, scarred over from many years of mercenary work. He stands at 5'7, about average for the time, and weights a moderate 211 pounds. His face is well proportioned, and his features are spaced nicely. He's an overall attractive man, but that doesn't hide the scars over his face. Small ones litter his dark skin, while a a single large scar spreads across his left cheek. His eyes are a greenish color, and kept wound free. His hair is short, and a light brown. It's decently well kept, as he has a lot of down time to maintain himself in taverns and during marches.  


Backstory:
Sharir grew up under the thumb of his abusive drunkard of a father on their wine plantation just outside Shariz. Had his father, Darius, been more attentive, Sharir would not have pined for anything. Their family was very wealthy, and had considerable sway with local nobles. He would have all the food he could want, any toys he desired, and a fantastic education. What he received, however, was very lackluster. He often went without food, rarely received anything but beatings and chores from his father, and got a sub-par education at best. His teenage years led to much strife and rebellion, so his father sent him off to train as a soldier to teach the boy disciple, as apparently his beatings weren't enough anymore. This would serve as the mans undoing, however, as when  Sharir returned he put a sword through his father's gullet and raided the family coffers. By now, Sharir was 19, without a home, and on the run from execution for his father's murder. He had two options by this point; bandit or mercenary. He choose the latter. Using the money he raided to buy some better equipment and hire a few able bodied men, Sharir set out to found a mercenary troupe. He would later be absorbed into a larger troupe heading through Jelkala to help the Rhodoks beat back another attack from Swadia. In these campaigns, Sharir proved himself a worthy combatant and an adept sword fighter. It was in an unfortunate loss near the end of the war where an arrow struck his left wrist. He lost all use of that hand, and could not draw back a bow nor properly use anything that required two hands. He pressed onward, however, training himself to use throwing axes and strapping a shield around his left arm to make it useful. He remains as deadly a combatant as he was prior to injury. The mercenary group he ran with would later splinter, with many sticking with the original leader, a disgraced Swadian knight by the name of Winslow Desago, and a moderate amount heading off with a charismatic newblood nord by the name of Berggren. Sharir opted to go with neither. He had hated Winslow for some time already, and Berggren was far to brash for his liking. He struck off on his own, selling himself as a bodyguard and soldier to whoever would pay. He is currently staying in Curaw, drinking away his coin and searching for jobs. 


Personality:
Meme
Stoic and no-nonsense. Can often come off as rude or authoritarian. He goes by a strict "ship up or ship out" mentality 

Equipment:
Sharir wears a blue hauberk with a chainmail laced shirt underneath, and a pot helm. He wields a steel arming sword, a few throwing axes, and a large round shield. He wears brown gloves and brown boots 

[Eternity]

(This is my CS slot for when it's not 11 o'clock at night)

(EDIT: Sorry, not gonna join up. Gonna be busy for a while.)

[vammy]

I'm coming after school

[vammy]

CHARACTER SHEET:

Name: Nadreos Iklets

Age: 27

Gender: Male

Physical Apperance: A notably short man of five feet and three inches. Nadreos has curly black hair styled in a feminine way that goes down to his shoulders, he also has dark skin and brown eyes. He's a bulky man wearing a brightly colored gold and white shirt with some leather hung over it, as well he wears a pair of baggy black pants and some tan sandals. His last notable feature is his squeaky voice.

Backstory: Born in the Sultanate to a couple of peasants, Nadreos spent most of his early years poor with only farming skills. At the age of 16 he left home to find wealth, which he found with a group of bandits who made a living raiding random villages and jumping small groups of mercenaries. He was in and out of Calradia's prisons until he chose to leave the raiders, and begin a new life with his illegally gained wealth. He spent the last four years as a nomad making his pay traveling to village to village, buying and selling their wares. Lately he's in Sargoth chilling at a tavern for the night.

Personality: He's a talkative, easily angered and a friendly man.

Equipment: I assume he a decent amount of cash on him, maybe 450 gold. As well a shortsword

He's in Sargoth if you didn't catch my bio

[gwebster2]

Sept 14, 2016 0:14:01 GMT -4 @lego said:

Gweb I really want to fucking murder you
Proof-read or get a proof-reader god dammit
All the mistakes I spotted make me want to stab something

Christ, you're right. After seeing that, I realized I put up the draft version, before I started using Google Docs. Notepad doesn't have any proofreading. I'll edit it.

As for your character, everything is good except that you won't start off with a mercenary troop. You'll have to build up a following like in the game, except I have way more interesting things in mind for gathering troops. You won't have to IC go to village to village recruiting villagers.

However, you can still include that mercenary group  in that backstory and they will show up in game. You can have a splinter group come to you and and recruit you, only for you to end up leading it. That can totally happen. 

I'll also need to know what capital city you've ended up in.

Sept 13, 2016 23:55:21 GMT -4 Duck14 said:

...I always thought Praven was the capital of Swadia...

It is. I'll change it.

---

Vammy, your character is accepted as is. Normally, I'd say that having 450 denars is too much, but since you've only gone with a short sword, it balances itself out. 



I reckon I'll make a separate thread for everyone, but if two characters meet and join a group, I'll merge the two threads.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2016 18:46:40 GMT -4 gwebster2 said:

Sept 14, 2016 0:14:01 GMT -4 @lego said:

Gweb I really want to fucking murder you
Proof-read or get a proof-reader god dammit
All the mistakes I spotted make me want to stab something

Christ, you're right. After seeing that, I realized I put up the draft version, before I started using Google Docs. Notepad doesn't have any proofreading. I'll edit it.

As for your character, everything is good except that you won't start off with a mercenary troop. You'll have to build up a following like in the game, except I have way more interesting things in mind for gathering troops. You won't have to IC go to village to village recruiting villagers.

However, you can still include that mercenary group  in that backstory and they will show up in game. You can have a splinter group come to you and and recruit you, only for you to end up leading it. That can totally happen. 

I'll also need to know what capital city you've ended up in.

Alright, I'll fix it right away. One moment. 

[gwebster2]

Sept 14, 2016 18:53:35 GMT -4 @lego said:

Sept 14, 2016 18:46:40 GMT -4 gwebster2 said:

Christ, you're right. After seeing that, I realized I put up the draft version, before I started using Google Docs. Notepad doesn't have any proofreading. I'll edit it.

As for your character, everything is good except that you won't start off with a mercenary troop. You'll have to build up a following like in the game, except I have way more interesting things in mind for gathering troops. You won't have to IC go to village to village recruiting villagers.

However, you can still include that mercenary group  in that backstory and they will show up in game. You can have a splinter group come to you and and recruit you, only for you to end up leading it. That can totally happen. 

I'll also need to know what capital city you've ended up in.

Alright, I'll fix it right away. One moment. 

Oh, uh...your personality says "meme", also.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2016 20:24:21 GMT -4 gwebster2 said:

Sept 14, 2016 18:53:35 GMT -4 @lego said:

Alright, I'll fix it right away. One moment. 

Oh, uh...your personality says "meme", also.

Indeed it does, friend 

[gwebster2]

Sept 14, 2016 20:31:57 GMT -4 @lego said:

Sept 14, 2016 20:24:21 GMT -4 gwebster2 said:

Oh, uh...your personality says "meme", also.

Indeed it does, friend 

ok accepted

[gwebster2]

Vammy vammy mammy bo manny vanny mo mammy

bannanachair.proboards.com/thread/1863/calradia-war-vammy

here it is

Lego, yours is comin up

[gwebster2]

bannanachair.proboards.com/thread/1864/calradia-war-lego

lego my eggo

here it is m8

[The Jiggler]

CHARACTER SHEET:


Name: Jorgan Bryne
Age: 37
Gender: Male

Physical Appearance:  Black, shaggy hair neatly coiffured to reveal a craggy, sad face. Bright brown eyes set gracefully within their sockets. Scars reaching the bottom of the left cheek, running towards the left side of his lips and ending on his chin. His skin is white like vanilla, with bruises settling themselves every few inches. He's lean, but he's not muscular as to a knight who trained for eight hours of a day on his strength, his swordsmanship, and horse riding. He has a birthmark on his back shaped like the Krehals Ait (fictional). On his chest, though, a series of long scars can be shown. 

Backstory:

Jorgan used to be a slave, captured by a Vaegir war party when they set siege to Knudarr Castle. He was born to a Nordic woman and a Rhodok father in Veluca. The Rhodoks were campaigning in Swadia and Jorgan's father was pillaging Tahlberl. Jorgan's father's war party rode north into Sargoth to sell the goods they stole during their campaign in Swadia. This is when he met Runa Visätedottir, a baker in Sargoth who's flatbread was the best in the entirety of the Nordic Kingdom. Jorgan was being taken back to Saren, his father's birthplace so that he could be trained by his father, Finbar Bryne, to join the army when he became the age. But while they were staying in Knudarr Castle, they were caught in the war between the Vaegirs and the Nords. Jorgan was sent off to Reyvadin as a slave. For thirteen years he worked in the farms around Reyvadin, and he grew stronger and his hate burned deeper for the Vaegirs. He slept in a cabin where the other slaves lived. Their chamber pot was next to their beds and the only things they received were cereal and stale biscuits. After thirteen years, one night a group of slaves rushed into the house of the masters and killed them. Jorgan ran south to the forest near Amere, the Swadian village. After working as a lumberjack for the Swadian elder at Amere for awhile, he earned enough denars to get a ride on a cabbage carriage from Amere to Halmar. He joined the city guard in Halmar and trained in swordsmanship, horse riding, and archery for a year or so. 

He eventually raised enough denars to buy a horse and he rode once more towards Saren. When he arrived, he found that his father was executed in Vyincourd Castle by a Swadian. He rode north again to find his mother. When he arrived in Sargoth, he found his mother at the Foamy Cod Tavern and told her of his father's execution. She was crushed by this news. She retired from her job baking at the Foamy Cod and spent the rest of her days and nights in a cabin outside the city walls. One night while Jorgan was sleeping, she committed suicide. She took a knife from the pantry and stabbed herself in the stomach eight times. Jorgan tried to kill himself too. He failed. He spent the rest of his money drinking wine and on cereal. He became a beggar on the streets of Sargoth. He was eventually picked up during a Nordic conscription. He became a Nordic Huscarl and fought the Swadians. The only thing that invigorated him to live was to kill those who had killed his father. He was let go of his position eventually and sunk into Jelkala's politics. He made a name for himself and currently resides in Jelkala. 

Personality: You may not notice this when first meeting Jorgan, but the fact he's insensitive and dominating is just the tip of the iceberg. To top it off he's also morbid, petty and provocative, but their worst is softened by behaviors of being orderly as well. But focus on his as this is what he's loathed. There's a great deal of pain left on all sides because of this and his self-indulgence, which is a true shame for both sides.

Equipment: Jorgan has kept his sword close to him ever since he left Halmar. Its name is Pride's Talon. It's a very short, thin, slightly curved blade made of steel is held by a grip wrapped in dull, forest green sting ray leather.
Because its sharp on both its edges, this weapon is the champion's choice. It crushes enemies with cleaving hacks and piercing jabs. The blade has a large, warped cross-guard, adding weight to the blade for a better weight balance, as well as offering hand protection during battle. The crossguard has a jeweled dragon head on each side, marking Jorgan's ownership. It also has a fairly large pommel, which  is marked with a quality symbol, a symbol of true greatness. The blade itself is engraved, religious symbols have been delicately etched into the blade. He also has Helga, his shield. This reinforced sharp heater shield, made from adamantite, offers reinforced protection, especially against coordinated attacks and arrows and bolts.
This too also has the dragon insignia etched into it. Other than this, Jorgan has nothing else.

[gwebster2]

accepted

sorry everyone i didn't post today i will post soon

[gwebster2]

ok i actually did replay

um

i guess i'll make your thread then, Fuckall.



bannanachair.proboards.com/thread/1882/calradia-war

[gwebster2]

ok sorry been busy will post tomorrow

[gwebster2]

i suck

i don't even know why i make ISRP's

legit

i mean i never keep them going for any length of time ever at all
i can only think of one that i actually kept going and that was ages ago

man

fuck me




3/15/2018: like that little bit of cringe self-loathing there? yikes. i still feel bad about this Rp whenever i think about it, tho. oof. this is the one i really want to try again now that my life is in order.