The art of WAAAUUUUGH

[vammy]

There are only two things in this world that matter to a Ork, themselves and (ahem) WAAAUUUUGH or war as the more civilized kingdoms refer to it.
WAAAUUUUGH is the lifesoucre to all Orks without WAAAUUUUGH there would be constant chaos, Orks would wander around mindlessly without goals or dreams, thoughts and memories of conquest behind them haunting them day by day.
Luckily for them that will never happen because their king Tails will find WAAAUUUUGH wherever he goes.

Army:

King Tails: Level 30, Uses battle magic

Recruit:
Rage:2000

Dum Ork: Orks in general aren't known for their smarts so when you call a Ork dumb or "dum" your in for a doozy. The good news is that this Ork is so dumb you can send him to the front lines for a easy source of expendable troops. Costs 100 rage

Rum Ork: Rum is alcohol made solely from sugar, Orks are savage bafoons. Give a Ork rum and witness him drunkenly run around the battlefield menacely. Costs 200 Rage

Boom Ork: Two Orks in command of a large flame tube that shoots out explosives; so large it requires two Orks to hold and shoot. Costs 400 rage

Enraged Ork: An Ork known for its constant anger, your scientist gave it a gigantic wooden club and gave it the go ahead to beat up people with it. Usually your enemies. Usually. Costs 400 rage

Über: Übers: crazed beasts of death, a combination of everything you own into one deadly stew. Cost: Ask vammy

Researching: Currently writing a book by the name of " Enemies, 1000 reasons why they suck and we don't."

Location: You share a large island west of the mainland, shared with LNG

You know where everyone is

Resources:

Farmable Rage

Mud

Wood

[Death]

I buy 20 Dum Orks

Aand give 'em good ol' choppas an' sluggas

wese is orks, and orks is best

I will kick a gretchin is the face just because I can

[vammy]

The grechtin you kicked complained to the army about you, unluckily for them you are the king of the Orks.

His execution is in three turns

The choppas AND. sluggas have been given out to all the Orks equally

[Death]

Yes, equally, of course, this is a communork society after all.

I'll get myself the biggest, choppiest, and dead killiest choppa there is.

[vammy]

Due to fact they everyone is constantly killing each other the the title of " dead killest" has shifted 19 times before you were able to get your weapon

A normal choppa with a bunch of blood on it

[Death]

I will generate rage by going onto tumblr and type a rant on Orks.

[vammy]

Not only did this produce rage it also produced salt, pounds and pounds of salt.

A enraged Ork is tracing the IP

[Death]

I tell him to zog himself

I then get more rage by going onto Christian websites and saying stereotypical things about how shit Christians are. I also post ork memes.

[vammy]

" Jesus was probably Arabic due to being from Arabia/Levant."

^ your computer is now officially the largest salt mine in the United States of Ork

What is zogging and how do you do it?

[vammy]

Also your neighbors the robots are here to be friendly

[Death]

Zog is an ork word which can translate to three things, "go away, get lost or no good,"

Not even kidding, it's in the ork codex and everything.

I loom at the robots and am like, "yoo look like humies whose 'as been spray painted."

[vammy]

(Gonna let LNG respond to that one)

Off the coastline you hear rumors of a new land, perhaps your empire can begin there

[Death]

I slap my Mekboy in the face and tell him to make me the deadliest, shiniest, shootiest shoota he can give me, with a nice shine and nails put in it and everything. Also to get me a buggy that's painted red, and because we believe it to be true, red vehicles go faster!

[vammy]

red vehicles in fact move a whole 1/cm a hour then any other vehicle it's a fact of life much like how time is only a illusion created by the jews to force us into 9-5 work Schedule.

it will take some time to develop such a shooty shooter

[Death]

"Werk fasta, ya useless git!" I bitch slap him, followed by a back-hand, I do this three or four times until I get bored and let go of his collar. I draw my shitty little slugga and shoot a grot in the head because I haven't killed something in the last five minutes and my bloodlust is so insurmountable, I feel the need to kill things at random.

[vammy]

the dude drops dead your shotta in hand, it's unfinished sadly not able to fire at full power like most shottas.

Due to killing something you get +10 rage

[Death]

Me and the lads needs ta kill somefin' roight quick. So I will gather all my dum Ork Boyz and march them out in the search for something to kill, preferably moderately tough so we can get a decent amount of rage flowing.

[vammy]

Well maybe you could hunt down the Yazinad, a beast of legend, known it's changing colors and deeply red eyes. Some say it doesn't exist, some say it's waiting for a worthy challenge

[Death]

I draw my killiest choppa, and bellow a hearty "WAAAGH!" Before charging off in pursuit of this mythical beast. My lads follow after me, their thuggish choppas in one hand, and brutal pistols In the other.

[vammy]

----Event----

It is almost midnight and your orks have not heard a peep or a cry from any beasts from any lore, a few quick steps into the forest and it almost seems like your trip may have been in vain but a quick swoosh is heard, one of your Orks screams out in terror as he is carried into the air. Red eyes stare right at you. It is the Yazinad screeching in the night.

[Death]

The revving of the chainsaw part of my choppa is heard as I let out a hearty, orkish laugh. "Dis is gunna be fun!" I leap at the creature, nearly hovering as I nearly crash into the creature- choppa coming from somewhere behind my right shoulder and colliding with the side of it's face. Hopefully this display inspires the other Orks to join me.

[vammy]

Orks rush the foul beast but not before a boast of flames surrounds the forest, leaving rotten trees it's wake.

As you just manage to hit the beast it roars at you in terror