No More Heroes (Llama)

[llama]

I smile at the room, it being a very notable upgrade from my previous home. I throw my drawstring bag to the floor, and start turning on the lights. I throw the keys on the counter and go to open the fridge, hoping my list of miracles continue by finding a Coke in there.

[Deleted]

Your good luck continues, as the fridge appears to be full of food and drinks, coke included.

[llama]

I grin a giant smile, taking out a Coke and cracking it open immediately. I then proceed to the living room and settle down on the couch, turning on the TV with the remote and directing the channel to Adult Swim. Chilling and watching TV, I eventually end up falling asleep.

[Deleted]

You are abruptly awakened the next morning by the ringing of a phone.

[llama]

I rub the sleep of my eyes, blankly looking at some shitty kid's show now on the channel. Is that a fucking cat and fish hugging one another?
I go to the direction of the phone to answer it, giving an informal "Y'ello?"

[Deleted]

"Good morning Mr. Sharp." A feminine voice greets you. There's a slight accent to it, but it's hard to quite make it out over the phone. "I'm Sylvia, the one who wrote you the letter, and the one who you'll primarily be in contact with for the duration of your time in the UAA."

[llama]

"Um, yeah okay." He says, nervousness suddenly churning his stomach that's already full of butterflies. Butterfly butter doesn't sound all that nice. "I think I can work today. I just need to get some but- I mean, something to eat, and then I should be fine."

[Deleted]

"Don't worry, Sharp. The only schedule you work by is how much money you want to make." Sylvia reassures you. "I can set you up with some jobs right now, or you can take some more time to settle in. It's all up to you."

[llama]

"Yeah, now would be fine. I wanna get out of this house so I don't end up sitting down and watching these godforsaken cartoons." I pause for a moment before asking, "Do you happen to like King of the Hill? I really like. I kinda wanna do jobs now so I can get back and watch it..... oh, and so I don't miss any drama on the boards." I chuckle a bit, retorting a, "You know how it is." He was deathly sure she indeed did not know how it is.

[Deleted]

The woman ignore your attempts at small talk entirely and gets right to the point. "I can do that, Mr Sharp. Do you have any specifications for the job?"

[llama]

"Uh.. I guess whatever'll allow me to maybe buy back my self confidence?" I laugh a bit. Damn, truth hurts even while you're the one making fun of yourself.

[Deleted]

"Right... Well, I'm not sure I can put a price on your self confidence, but I can pull up a few random jobs and let you take your pick."

[llama]

"Haha, it wouldn't be that hard to find the correct amount.. which is to say it's low. Like, uh, really low...... but yeah, the random jobs sounds nice."

[Deleted]

"Alright. Give me a few moment and I'll find you some jobs to pick from."

You've been put on hold for the time being.

[llama]

I kinda look around, anticipating the elevator music. If there is none, I hum some to myself as I go down the hallway I have yet to explore to glance into the remaining rooms.

[Deleted]

The elevator music comes on after a few seconds of silence.


The bathroom is small, with just enough room to contain a shower, toilet, sink, and mirror. The bedroom is of moderate size. There's a king sized bed, a dresser, and a nightstand next to the bed with a lamp on it. There's a closet in the far right wall. Sylvia picks the phone back up as you're glancing into the bedroom.

"Alright, so there's three decent jobs available right now. A job to take out a drug lord, a job to take out a business executive, and a job to take out a serial killer on the run. Which one would you like to hear about first?"

[llama]

"Huh.." Which was the most evil? A lot of people on the internet just say that businesses are the ruin of everyone, but I mean some good is had from them. I mean serial killers don't have much room for justification.. "tell me about the serial killer first."

[Deleted]

"His name is Alexander Cupid. Short guy, red hair, brown eyes, Greek. Used to run a nice little deli near the square, but then it was found out that he lured lone customers into the back room and killed them. Health inspector found four bodies in the freezer. After he got caught, he went on the run. Police have spotted him recently running around the edge of town. They say he's armed and extremely dangerous."

[llama]

"Okay, doesn't sound all that difficult." It was, in fact, going to be difficult and I damned well knew it. Cops hadn't gotten him before, he has guns, and probably swords, and maybe even an assortment of mustache twiddling henchmen.
"Is there anything else I need to know?"

[Deleted]

"Well, it'd probably do you well to know that Cupid fought in the Vietnam war. Doctors say he has PTSD, and that all of his victims were Asian. You're not Asian, so that shouldn't be a big worry for you, but he does have military training and mental instability. You'd best watch yourself if you go after him."

[llama]

Well, that screws with the whole 'this is definitely messing up a bad guy' thing. Having to kill a veteran wasn't exactly in my best interests, but if it meant bringing at least some console to the families of the deceased..
"Yeah, I'll do it. Little light magic should be good enough, haha."

[Deleted]

(My apologies for the lack of replies. Holidays and Maria have kept rather busy, and tired, over break.)

"Sure thing. Let me just mark the job as taken and see if I can track down his last known location."

[llama]

(all good bruh)

"Okay." I do a little whistle, trying to pass the awkward bit of time .

[Deleted]

It isn't long before Sylvia returns

"The job's been marked and we've tracked him to a sushi joint near the mall. Police reports say he may be hiding out with a friend there, and they have a few officers patrolling the area. They haven't found anything yet, but they also haven't found any trace of him anywhere else. This is our best guess."

[llama]

"Alrighty then miss. I'll make sure to head there as soon as possible." I begin heading towards the door, still in yesterday's ( and maybe last weeks clothes). "Anything else?"