The Odd and Slightly Dangerous Adventures of Life (1)

[llama]

Now, Life, since you have been in this world for quite a bit I desire to know exactly what you want me to call you!



"My name is Trevor Lewis. I, uh, usually go by Mr. Lewis."



Right, I heard of some bullock with the same name that got his head chopped off wandering through the woods! Now, give me a description of yourself.



" Uh, myself?... To start, human. I'm a man. Uh... people sometimes say I'm built like a coffin, and with the opposite warmth. Heh. I've got curly hair, short. Black. The hair, I mean. I've got green eyes, from my ma, I think. I'm really tall... I mentioned that already, shit. I've got some rather tanned skin, and quite a bit of scars. Uh, not very deep ones, just a lot of small ones from small accidents or burns or animals. My hands are practically buried under the damn things. My clothes tend to change a lot with terrain and all, but the one thing I always keep is this nice pair of calfskin boots I bought myself. You see, my left leg is just slightly shorter than the other, so I had these boots custom made with a little compensator in there. I still can't run all that well, but it gives me a lot of freedom otherwise."



Magnificent! Now, to experience the full thrill of life err.. life you must pick one of the most more... dangerous? Thoughtless? Careless? Whatever the word may be, professions.

I'm sure a numbskull like you would die just scything wheat for your entire life, but that wouldn't be interesting now, would it?



"Heh. Tried it once. I'm too restless for that, I guess-- There's a lot to see out there. Uh, I'd call myself an adventurer. Some prefer vagrant... I never beg, though! I go from town to town and see the world. I know a little bit of magic, which helps to keep the bandits off of me, but I do prefer travelling in groups. Luckily, I'm pretty strong and picked up a little trapping, so I rarely go hungry. I can do a few odd jobs if I do need to... I always like to carry a little extra currency on me, though. Just in case."



A job like that? That can't lead to even the smallest of satisfaction in your sex life. Ohohoho! Tell me, how is your sex life? And the rest of your life? Got any friends that I could call on if I feel lonely in the night?



"I believe a man should not lie with a woman they are not willing to die for. Uh, beyond that, I've lead a pretty good life. Pa was a soldier, and died real early, but Ma was able to raise us pretty good. The village pitched in, cause Pa was a real good man, and they felt they owed him. Oh yeah, I was born with a fucked up leg. Funny that, all my brothers come out healthy as an ox, and I come out last and lame."



Trevor coughed. He didn't really have to, but it felt right.



"Well, not totally fucked but enough. Until I got these boots, I walked with a limp, and running was a dream. I never really got to play or work with the others, so I stuck around the village and learned what I could. The Priest, a man called John Nis, took a real liking to me, even taught me to read. He was a real good man, that guy. Taught me a lot about staying moral and helping your fellows, you know? I guess that's sort of why I wander now. I always felt like I could do some more good out there, more than just farming. Maybe that's greedy, I don't know. Uh... friends? I've got a lot, yeah. I'd say most of them are good people, but I don't want to grow too attached if I'm off wandering. Every year, when I try to write home, I always send a word to Sarah and Fred. Those two are probably my best friends, really. Uh... Please don't try to call on Sarah, for your own safety, haha."



---


The Dual Kingdom of Ogien-Vanduo was a place of rapid change in 1575. The agreement between the two nations was made for the following reasons about a decade before; the two nations couldn't take on the growing threat of the expanding Mustowian Empire (to the east) separately, the kingdoms already had very close royal relations in the form of a matching dynasty, and the fact that it would make them one of the most powerful nations in the entire continent of Pyre. The two nations had independent dilemmas that were immediately solved once the Dual Kingdom was formed, including Ogien having overpopulation while Vanduo having far too much land, Orgien having a growing weapon industry with no raw materials to support it while Vanduo having the revered, currently untapped, Metal Mountains, and both nations having a growing problem with peasantry demanding representation in the government which, upon the Dual Kingdom being founded, The Council of the Many was introduced. Its name held up to it; thousands of citizens stand in a giant stadium, shouting out suggestions and waving their hands and doing anything to try and get noticed, and one of the court's wizards would use his magic to randomly pick out sentences among the screams. These sentences would then be orated to the crowd, and based on the decree of approval or fury (it was often very hard to tell which was which), the new suggestion could be enacted as a law.
That isn't to say everything is suddenly dandy. Bandits are raging along, Mustowian raids constantly happen, and other intricacies happen everyday in this odd kingdom.

You were born in a small, insignificant town in Vanduo. Your father and his father's father were sucked into the never ending wars of Mustowia and at times some of the states within the western Confederacy of Freduleeia. All the states are supposed to fight as one and better themselves, but more often than not its independent fighting by one of them to better themselves and although they're supposed to be friendly with one another there is constant internal fighting of the states. Many people from both Ogien and Vanduo migrate to Freduleeia to serve as mercenaries for one of the Confederacy's many wars.
Following your urge to go and spread good, you left your hometown and just started trekking down the Common Highway, a large road system snaking through the Dual Kingdom. 
It has been largely uninteresting travelling. The occasional settlement you stop by either never have any work for an adventurer such as yourself or lead you on only to laugh in your face to your utter disappointment. Today, though, you think things are going to change. While you were walking along the Common Highway you came across a sign directing you to the sin-city of Tort. You wandered along the road, due to you not having much else better to do, and you're now walking along in awe of the city. Every form of debauchery can be found here, and you're sure there are plenty of wrong doers some people would like locked up here. Down the road you're on is a line of brothels and saloons and a combination of the two cleverly called brothloons. Looking down the road, you see the city jail square between a bar and what looks to be a betting station. While considering this peculiarity, you feel a tap on your shoulder, with a rather charming feminine voice gently saying, "You're taking up the road, sweet thing."

[1]

Trevor turned around, while shimmying to the side. "Sorry, I'm not too used to the city. Ha."

He tried to be a little wary-- his brothers had always told him to be careful around folks from the big city, so he held reservations. Usually.

[llama]

You turn to see a strikingly beautiful woman wrapped in nothing except a silk bed sheet. Hair black as the night, eyes green as the rolling hills of your hometown. Her ebony skin is without a noticeable blemish except a very small crescent moon etched on the middle of the two of her cheeks. She walks ahead and flashes you a smile while looking back at you, before stopping and backtracking to you, much to the annoyance of the crowd of people just trying to get through the streets. "Not used to the city, huh?" She purrs, "Don't usually have those types wind up in Tort."

[1]

Trevor smiled, and shook his head. Pretty. Real pretty. "Uh... N-no, I'm from the a small town. I got to adventuring not long ago, and my feet took me here, y'know? Heh. Are you from here?"

[llama]

She giggles at your question, thinking that you're joking, until stopping. She still smiles, looking you up and down before replying, "Hm. Small town adventurer. You sure are going to learn a lot about this world before you stop doin' that job." She emphasizes this by adjusting the bed sheet around her, accentuating her bosom and curves. Giggling again, she answers your second question, "No, I'm not. I'm from the south. Err.. way south." She seems to have some hesitancy on exactly where this southern land, or how south 'way south' is.

[1]

Trevor maintained eye contact, nodding. She has nice eyes. "Sorry, I don't know all that much. Uh, My name is Trevor by the way. Trevor Lewis-- I usually go by Mr. Lewis." Trevor put out a massive paw to the stranger.

[llama]

Folding one hand across her chest to keep the cloth secure, she leans forward and shakes your hand gingerly, giving yet another friendly smile. She seems to be full of them. "Oh, that's fine! Like I said, you will further down the road.. but it is certainly a pleasure to meet you. My name is Afaf, but most people around here just call me Sweets or Sweetness or something else along those lines." She says the last part with a twirl of her hair and a small shrug. "Anyway, it really was nice to meet you! You should stop by down the road; we'd love having you there." She turns and points out a sign decreeing the name of the establishment as "PLOSTS'S" along with a long stream of text on another sign below it that you can't read from here. She waves, and then starts walking towards the building.

[1]

Trevor smiled and waved as well. Cute. He tried to commit the place to memory. Plotss? Plosts.s? How do you pronounce that?


Stretching, he walked deeper into the city, trying to get a feel for the pulse of the place. He would sate his curiosity first, and go job searching later. Cities were places so stuffed full of life and action you could hardly believe it, there was bound to be something to see. Maybe the markets?

[llama]

Maybe the markets indeed.
You head through this long district of assorted debauchery, alas arriving to a large square filled to the brim with tents and booths selling a variety of wares. You spot everything from weaponry, to food, to potions, to even slaves. As you're taking all this in, one man grabs your shoulder to get your attention. You're startled to find it's a goblin. A goblin on stilts that makes him slightly taller than you, for that matter. "Meester, please come and looks at what the fine Green Kingdom has to offer!" You've certainly heard of the Green Kingdom; it's a sector in southern Orgien that many of the goblins claim as their own nation. Many go about performing functions of government as if it indeed was independent. You remember your father having strong feelings against this land of goblins, and how Orgien should do something about it, but then again the nation has always had much more to worry about than some goblins living out a dream of independence.

[1]

Trevor blinked. What the hell? He turned around to face the little green thing. He wasn't really used to non-humans, truth be told. He didn't like to judge people, but they always sort of freaked him out. Like a little green old man. Ech.

"Er... sure. I'll check it out."

[llama]

The goblin eagerly brings you over to his cart, taking big steps with the stilts. His cart was covered by a large sheet, which he throws off to the side with general pizzazz. Occupying the shelves of the cart is a bird cage with a dead raven in it, some more dead birds on the shelves, a mossy key, some strange looking fruit, and really cruddy pottery.
"You likes wares, Meester?"

[1]

Trevor looked at the wares for a long moment. He blinked. Seriously, what the hell? Is this what the goblins have been building all this time?


He paused for a long moment. "What's that key?"

[llama]

"Ohhhh, it's good key! Opens a door! Really nice door!" The goblin at this point is dancing around, excited about the question which could inference a potential buyer. You're sure you're the first person that has bothered to stop by his cart the entire day, "Door older than city, and key older than door! Funny thing is this; door is in the city, and key isn't with door! Haha!"

[1]

Trevor looked pensively at the damn thing. Sure, the items were shit, but this thing probably had a family. Did he? Were there female goblins out there? Did they just look like the same little old men? Fucking goblins, man. May as well entertain the thing though.

"Err. How much?"

[llama]

The green face lit up at this question, its fat tongue licking its lips and saliva dripping out of its mouth, "I take barter or gold! You show me what that is and I take!" It was still doing what seemed like a jig on its stilts, much to the bemusement of a few kids standing by and staring at the thing.

[1]

Trevor patted his pockets, fishing for his gold. He had about 30 on him, but kept 5 or so hidden. That was something John had always told him. Anyways, goblin. "I've got a few gold. Throw me a price."

[llama]

The goblin is visibly nervous, worried about saying the wrong price which would turn his buyer away. He hops from stilt to stilt, "ONE HUNDR- No, five, I mean six.. ARGH!" The process of haggling upset his mind. He gripped his forehead, swooning back and forth.

[1]

"Six gold works for me, yeah." Trevor nodded. What was money anyways? If he could feed this little goblin for a few days, that might be worth his time.

[llama]

He overcomes his scratching at his face to greedily looking down at you. His face is freeze framed; a glimmer of hope. Knowledge that his beautiful (at least to him) goblin wife will be able to get that mud bracelet she wanted. Or how his son may finally be able to live out his lifelong dream of attending those Elven dance classes. Or maybe, just maybe, the attainment of the necessary funds to actually do a little bit of good in the world, good that no one else would do in this damned world. Or perhaps a vision of how wasted he's going to get tonight. It's fairly difficult to tell.

[1]

Trevor fishes for 6 gold pieces and hands it the goblin.

"So, run this key through me again? What does it open?"

[llama]

He quickly snatches them and, to your astonishment, gulps them down accompanied with a satisfying belch. "Yes! The key! Open old door! YOU will find door; key will help you when no other thing can, and there will be door, and you will be thinking 'oh, there's no way I can get through here' and then you remember; key from Green Kingdom, which was actually from Tort, but came in possession of Green Kingdom!" He's hopping around while saying this, so much so you think his stilts are about to break, "Now, do you want to buy any other of my wares?"

[1]

What the hell.


Fucking goblins, never again.


"Err, I... I think that's enough. Thank you."

Disoriented and slightly disgusted, Trevor walks away. Maybe he should start looking for work, this goblin had already exhausted him.

[llama]

The goblin's face recedes its jolly expression. "No more? Then shoo! You're taking up space for potential costumers!" He waves his hands towards you, ushering you away, and then gets the cloth on the ground to throw it over his cart yet again. Then, as if you weren't there, he lets out an ear rattling yell, "COME, COME! SEE WHAT THE GREEN KINGDOM HAS TO OFFER!"

Walking down the crowded market, you run through your head all the possible places where jobs could be offered; there was that sheriff office wedged between the seedy establishments, the multitude of bars where you're sure you could find someone that needs some help, or maybe a church that has some holy deed that needs to be done. As you're thinking through this while just walking for the sake of walking, you arrive to the center of the bazaar, all the while people shouting at you from their stands waving their wares in your face. Wiping some spittle from your face, you look to the large crowd circled around a space where a structure is being made by some mage piecing things of lumber together.

[1]

Trevor resolved himself to try and avoid goblins from now on. They were clearly a strange people, and the experience had left him more than a little disoriented. He thought the church would be a good idea, especially in the city where he apparently couldn't trust people.

As he notices the lumber construction, he moves forward towards it. (Luckily, his height largely afforded him a pretty good view, even from the back) Mages had always been largely interesting to him-- able to do more than most, with a huge potential for good. He rarely had interactions with magic in his village, so he was naturally rather curious.

[llama]

You decide for now you will head towards the church, once you know where that general direction is, after figuring out this peculiarity.
Looking over the heads of a large crowd, you see a man to the side levitating timber and forming a structure at a breakneck speed. As it comes together more and more, you see that its.. a platform for gallows. Once the base structure is done, he begins constructing the part where the noose will be placed.